Christopher Eccleston returns as the Ninth Doctor in Doctor Who: Star-Crossed, the latest (and possibly final) boxset in Big Finish Production’s ongoing Ninth Doctor series. And if this is to be Eccleston’s last outing as the Doctor for the foreseeable future, then it’s a good thing he’s going out with a bang. This time around, the Doctor’s adventures take him to a planet where unsuccessful lovers mysteriously vanish, into the middle of the most secure bank in the galaxy, and straight into the heart of a time storm. But this time, the Doctor is joined by his future wife, River Song. These adventures aren’t smooth sailing for these soon-to-be lovers. No, the waters for the Doctor and his wife are choppy indeed. For Doctor Who: Star-Crossed tells a tragic love story spread across time and space – in the best way possible.

“Swipe Right” by John Dorney

When the Doctor (Christopher Eccleston) arrives on the planet Crell, following rumors of a string of mysterious disappearances, he uncovers something quite unexpected. An enigmatic Matchmaker (David Holt) spends their time running a dating app to help the people of Crell find love. But there’s a catch – get rejected too many times and a squadron of killer robots might appear to take you out of the dating pool. But worry not, for the Doctor is on the case. And so, as it turns out, is his future wife, River Song (Alex Kingston). Can the Doctor and his wife-but-not-yet set aside their differences and save the citizens of Crell from unhappy couplings and/or certain death? Or is this a battle the Doctor can’t hope to win? Taking a cue from The Husbands of River Song, John Dorney’s “Swipe Right” shows the Doctor and River Song living in disharmony.

The Doctor has no idea who she is and is appalled by the notion that she might one day be his wife. River, on the other hand, relishes this chance to see her husband at an earlier point in his life. But their dynamic is prickly; they’re on the same side, but almost reluctantly. And that prickliness gives “Swipe Right” a hefty helping of drama. There’s a sense of inevitable tragedy to the whole thing, even as the episode settles into the familiar rhythms of a traditional Doctor Who romp. And sure, the plot itself may not offer a ton to write home about. But it’s immensely enjoyable, and Dorney’s satire on modern dating culture makes for a fun target to aim the Doctor and River Song’s ire at.

Overall, “Swipe Right” starts off this latest collection of Ninth Doctor audio dramas with a bang. Eccleston and Kingston are easily the highlight here, and their dynamic is well worth the price of entry. (8.5/10)

“Face of the Apocalypse” by Lizzie Hopley

When the TARDIS locks onto an unusual algorithm, the Doctor finds himself in the middle of an Intergalactic Bank. But there’s something unusual about the algorithm – and the bank itself. It recognizes only one face – River Song’s. And worse than that, beings from across time and space are being imprisoned in the bank’s security vaults. But what intelligence is behind this theft of River’s face? Is it River herself, trying to infiltrate one of the most secure banks in the universe? Or is there something more sinister afoot, a force that threatens the entirety of existence? Lizzie Hopley’s “Face of the Apocalypse” picks up the Doctor and River’s story shortly after the previous episode. They’ve gone their separate ways, but the universe is keen to reunite them by throwing them straight into the middle of a quasi-heist.

But lest you think “Face of the Apocalypse” is merely another Doctor Who take on bank heists, think again. The bank itself quickly fades into the background as the episode’s real plot unfurls. To go into any real detail risks spoiling the surprise, but expect an emotional thrill ride through and through. “Face of the Apocalypse”, even more so than “Swipe Right”, is a love story between the Doctor and River. But it’s not a particularly romantic one, at least not at first. Instead, it’s a story of the pains of unrequited love. But even in that pain, there is hope – and the beginnings of a shared future. Eccleston and Kingston give dynamic performances here, beelining straight for the story’s emotional core. They’re electric opposite each other, and you get the real sense that they’re settling into their roles here.

All in all, “Face of the Apocalyse” simultaneously raises the stakes for the Doctor and River while digging deeper into their relationship. It’s action-packed, emotional, and surprisingly heartbreaking in all the best ways. (9/10)

“Archipelago” by Tim Foley

River Song has one final request for the Doctor: to journey with her to the planet Fortuna and help an old ferryman, Thaddeus (Trevor Cooper), find his lost husband. The catch? Thaddeus’s husband is lost in the middle of a time storm that threatens the entire planet. Can the Doctor guide River and Thaddeus through this deadly storm? Or is the trio destined to become lost to the waves of time? Tim Foley’s “Archipelago” brings this box set to an immensely satisfying conclusion. It’s the climax of our tragic love story, and what a climax it proves to be. It’s part swashbuckling adventure and part heartbreaking character drama. But most of all, it gives the Ninth Doctor a chance to tackle his trauma head-on.

“Archipelago” shows the Doctor and River trapped in one place, forced to spend time together. A challenge for a Doctor as walled off as Eccleston’s. He’s fresh from the horrors of the Time War – and the devastation of its conclusion. And he’s hesitant to open himself up to anyone, unable to believe he’s worthy of love. And yet, there’s River Song, ready to love him, warts and all. Ready to drag him into the depths of a time storm, ostensibly to help reunite a pair of long-lost lovers. But really, “Archipelago” is a story about the Doctor and River Song uniting with one another. But as anyone familiar with the Doctor and River’s love story knows, the Ninth Doctor is destined to forget this time with River. It’s a wholly unavoidable tragedy, and Eccleston and Kingston’s performances and Foley’s script mine the weight of that foreknowledge perfectly.

All in all, “Archipelago” brings this box set to an emotionally satisfying – if utterly heartbreaking – conclusion. A timey wimey adventure of tragic proportions in the best way possible. (9/10)

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, Doctor Who: Star-Crossed tells a tragic love story spread across time and space. Eccleston’s Ninth Doctor and Kingston’s River Song make for a dynamic duo, prickly in their initial encounters but warmer as time goes on. The stories themselves run the gamut from action-packed romps to heartbreaking character studies. However, the entire box set is tinged with a sense of tragedy; an ending that’s preordained and unavoidable. Though the Doctor and River may be destined for each other, it’s a future version of the Doctor who gets that happy ending, not this one. And that tragedy weighs heavily over the entire box set. It gives the stories a dramatic weight that elevates the entire box set into something quite unforgettable.

Doctor Who: Star-Crossed is available now from Big Finish Productions.